Volvo S40 - Shut up!

We get plenty of letters from readers complaining about a lack of coverage for their favorite brands. "Why don't you guys ever cover Saabs... or Volvos... or Mercedes... or whatever...?"

Conversely, we also get letters complaining that we cover too many VWs, Audis and BMWs. And perversely, we get letters from owners of VWs, Audis and BMWs complaining they see too much of other brands and not enough of their own.

Considering how many of these letters we get, I figured it was time to break things down for those of you who don't understand why North America is filled with more tuned VWs than Saabs, for example.

Let's take a look at the perceived brand images of all the various European manufacturers who sell vehicles in North America. Please note that for good or bad, marketing and perception go hand in hand, and each manufacturer is ultimately responsible for cultivating the brand's image described below.

Audi: Tech-first, style-before-substance, new money, geeky, design-ledBMW: Sporting, driver-first, performance bullseye, high-tech, image consciousMercedes: Stodgy, old money, performance with class, heavyweight cruiserPorsche: Big money, late-life purchase, some day, last carSaab: QuirkyVolkswagen: Young, fun, first car, unassuming, untapped potentialVolvo: Safe, pretentious, baby-on-board, boring, predictable

Taking the above into consideration and understanding that our reader demographics are relatively young, it shouldn't take a genius to understand why our pages aren't overflowing with modified Mercedes, Saabs and Volvos. It should also be obvious why you'll see a lot of VWs, Audis and BMWs instead.

Many of our readers use a Volkswagen to cut their teeth in the tuning world. As the only entry-level Euro on the market, this should come as no surprise to anybody.

While some people stay with VW for years and years, others will "graduate" to Audi or BMW as their income grows. Among the three brands there are literally thousands of tuned examples, and our coverage is but a small taste.

So while we'd love to see somebody other than Evolve tune the hell out of a Volvo S40, it seems that Volvo's brand image has got in the way. How else can you explain it? The S40/V50 have tuneable five cylinder turbo engines and Haldex-based AWD options. Such things are a recipe for fun, yet modded Volvos are as rare as Iraqi standup comedians.

Saabs are more our speed, but General Motors has sucked all the enthusiasm out of the brand and only the older cars retain any real quirkiness. These are rare cars even when new, so simple math dictates we're just not going to see many tuned examples.

Where I live you can't swing a dead cat without hitting an AMG Mercedes with at least 400hp, but that doesn't mean we're going to write about them in et because those cars are bone stock. Let's face it - today's Mercedes are loaded from the factory with power, taut suspension and big wheels. Only the truly wealthy are going to bother with a lot of modifications. So again, Mercedes' brand image and sky-high pricing means we need to wait for worthy examples to offer our readers. Not that there aren't any out there, but we've certainly featured the best of what's available.

We love and crave Porsches as much as the next guy, but even the older cars are expensive to acquire, maintain and modify. As a result, et will better serve its readers by covering more attainable brands.

If anything I've written has offended anybody, well that's just fine. That's what I'm here for.

To be honest, I wish to be proved wrong. I'd love to see a pile of S40/9-3/C230 submissions on my desk, each worthy of an et feature. Seriously, that'd be very, very cool. Too bad it'll never happen

The views of the author are not necessarily shared by eurotuner magazine.