The hobbling figure approached with menacing speed, crutch raised like a handgun. "You get this car out of here in five minutes, or I'll have it crushed!" the gesticulating retiree said. "You've been racing up and down this street for the past hour, and there's kids playing at the playground. One of them could run out in the street and get killed!"
Upon explaining that we were doing a photo shoot for eurotuner, the gray-haired man's demeanor was pacified slightly but only enough to demand a permit and see identification. It was at this point we noticed the policeman's insignia on his tattered old sweatsuit and realized we were dealing with an ex-cop who had nothing better to do than sit around in his leisure suit and look for reasons to call his buddies still on the force.
Just as we were beginning to smooth the cranky old guy's feathers, one of New Jersey's finest rounded the corner. Old-balls immediately flagged him down and accused us of racing. While the cop couldn't write us up for that, he was kind enough to write up the Bimmer you see here for obstructed plates and yours truly a ticket for no insurance on the rental car (the rental agreement was in the trunk).
So as a result of one man's persnickityness, the driver of this Bimmer gets to pay a fine, and this reporter has a warrant out for his arrest in New Jersey, the armpit of America. You can't say eurotuner reporters don't make sacrifices to get you the best shots right?
The lucky driver of the car that day was Dave Milintschuk, brother of Craig and Ron Milintschuk. The 328Ci is a promo vehicle, but it basically belongs to Craig. It just so happened that the day before the shoot Craig sprained his ankle and couldn't drive.
Craig and his brothers run Street Effectz, an East Coast-based company that specializes in mobile-electronics installs. The business has been up and running for three years now, but it was only recently that eurotuner spotted this demo car at an IREV show in Pennsylvania. "We love all types of vehicles," Craig said, "including Euros, imports, trucks and just about anything you can build up." Currently, Street Effectz is about to get underway on a Mitsubishi Galant for Diamond
Audio, but their other current project is another Bimmer, an '00 E46 sedan to feature Kicker products. As you can see from the trunk of the 328Ci, Craig and his brothers don't mess around when it comes to installs. As if the 15-inch custom-mounted television screen along with three others in the back wasn't enough, there's a 6.5-inch widescreen custom-mounted in the fan shroud, presumably so the mechanic can watch Tool Time or how-to videos. All in all there are 14 screens all from Icon-TV. Xbox games can be played on the amalgam of screens, as can DVDs (especially porn).
Moans and groans from said X-rated exploits can be heard throughout the neighborhood via the two Focal subs and Focal Utopia mids and tweets. The stereo setup is nothing short of over the top. Don't take our word for it though, just take a look at the accompanying spec and that 240-man-hour trunk.
While the sounds from the cabin and the trunk are impressive, so is the timbre that emanates from the motor. Start this bahn stormer up and not only are ears enticed with the cacophony from the UUC TSE2 custom dual-exit exhaust, they're also treated to a Siren's song from the supercharger. The polished Vortech unit is run in collaboration with ESS software and Bosch 36 lb/hr injectors. The ESS unit entirely replaces the ECU while the new injectors compensate for the pittance of petrol previously provided by the stock injectors. On top of the motor mods, the 328Ci has had Dinan transmission software installed, which improves shift points when it overrides the stock tranny ECU.
With horsepower boosted from 193 to 267 at the wheels, a slew of accompanying performance upgrades were called for. First, the ride height needed to be taken south. This was accomplished with the KW Variant 2 coilover system. Ride height is now around 2.5 inches lower, possibly more in back thanks to the stereo. The 19-inch rollers that the newly adjusted arches ensconce hail from HRE. The 8.5-inches-wide 542R's have been powdercoated charcoal for a touch that chain smokers will love. These rims are in turn wrapped by 235/35-19 Nitto NT-555's. With a sticky footprint such as this, the stoppers could be improved with a set of Brembos. While most feel the need to take care of only one set of brakes, Craig and crew replaced the fronts with 14-inch Brembo BBK rotors and six-piston calipers while the rears received 12.6-inch rotors of the same make. The result? A Bimmer that runs faster than an 11-year-old out of Neverland and stops quicker than Michael Jackson in front of a junior-high school.
With its Viagra-like performance, the E46 needed some aerodynamic and aesthetic improvements. The goodies chosen for this chore are not of the cheap variety. Hamann parts abound all around; everything from the GTR front and rear bumper to the side skirts to the carbon-fiber spoilers to the roof spoiler to the eyelids hails from the coveted marquee. The Hamann shadow grille has been painted Topaz Blue to match the rest of the exterior while the front bumper has had a few of the gaps filled with mesh. A 35 percent metallic tint covers the windows including the windshield. Too bad our friend the cop didn't notice this "obstruction."
Aesthetic upgrades continue with an array of OEM upgrades. The M3 mirrors as well as the BMW clears all around add that touch of class as does the BMW blank drivers-door handle.
If there's one area of upgrading that the owner/driver of the car appreciates, it is the interior. While you could drive all day and never see your reflection, a trick interior can make you feel like Fangio even if you drive like Fabio. The custom blue, Alcantara suede covering the seats and door panels looks race-tastic, especially with the accompanying array of Hamann accouterments such as the pedals and shift knob. The list of Hamann parts goes on as do the items that the cop could have written Dave up for. A couple other sweet touches are the center-console-mounted starter button from a Z8 and the Valentine One display concealed in the rearview mirror. Had our officer not been called away to a real crime that day, he surely would have written us up for some other cockamamie infringements of the New Jersey state code.
In closing, the brothers and me at Street Effectz, as well as my drivers AJ and Wayne, would like to thank the New Jersey state police and the cranky, senile neighbor in the dirty sweatsuit who called them. As it turned out, all our action shots were completed before their interference and the obstructed-license ticket has been paid and forgotten. As far as the warrant out for my arrest because the rental agreement was in the trunk, all I can say is, "Good luck finding me, you cork smokers!"